I bought a pair of pants
At the corner store
They were size fourty-one
I'm size thirty-four
So I took them to a tailor
And I tried them on
And he took them in
And I took them home
Now they felt just fine
Until I read this tag
On the inside leg
And it chilled my spine

They were the pants that Curly died in
They were the pants he could not hide in
And they had a button fly
And they poked me in the eye

Whadja do that for?

And it was my defeat
When I wore them on the street
'Cause I would go

Whoop (repeat 4 times)

And I would go

I'm a victim of circumstance!

And I would say

Hey Moe! Hey Larry! Free eats!

For my pants I've paid!
And my pants went:

I keep tryina think but nothin' happens!

And my pants went:

Ahra- hra -hra -hra

And my pants went:

Hey Moe! I think I'm havin' a cardiac arrest!