(Tom Meltzer)

My girl's like a wading pool, she's shallow and full of piss
And I should have left a long time ago but the girl knows how to kiss
I guess that makes me shallow too
But I can't change, what's the use?
I'm a product of dysfunction and I guess that's my excuse


I used to think I was just a bum searching for eternal slack
Pride, intelligence, motivation: there was nothing that I did not lack
But then I went to see a doctor and he showed me what was what
He helped me remember a terrible childhood I had plum forgot


Well my daddy used to wear a hockey mask
He chased high school girls at night
My mama used to beat me with a hanger
If the clothes weren't hung up right
If all this sounds familiar you should see my doctor too
I bet he can convince you the same thing happened to you


My baby and I we live on the fly
We take it day by day
We're unemployed and we're all annoyed
Cause our line of work don't pay
But since baby went to see the doctor things have started looking good
We got an agent, he gets us on all the talk shows
We're moving out to Hollywood


Cause her daddy used to make her play Russian Roulette
He locked her in a bamboo cage
Whenever her mom heard NIAGRA FALLS
She flew into a rage
If all this sounds familiar you should see my doctor too
I bet he can convince you the same thing happened to you